20. Blobfish Kigurumi - No one asked for this. No one needed to bring this into the world. 56. Stuffed Big Daddy - A stuffed toy shaped like… a huge man with a drill for a hand? Don’t worry, he’s soft! 59. VILE-Brand Pen - A souvenir waterproof pen with the acronym VILE on it. Great for signing checks! 54. _____ in Wonderland - A copy of Alice in Wonderland, except Alice’s name has been replaced with yours. That’s the power of public domain, baby. Peregrine Two: A small tape recorder with a single tape. It's an interview between Brett and a teenage girl, Peregrine. It begins with her recounting the story of spending several days lost in the woods after a snowstorm, before devolving into something more of a personal discussion. 06. Ten-Gallon Hat - A hat perfect for wearing in a western - or on stage singing country music. Yeehaw! 45. “Social Distancing Device” - A six-foot-long staff, with a pointed blade at the end. Yep, it’s a spear! Has all the powers of a spear, too. Like stabbing. 42. “Almond Flavoring” - A tightly-sealed vial of some kind of powder with a skull and crossbones on it and a very direct warning label informing the reader that it’s Literally Just Cyanide. 45. “Social Distancing Device” - A six-foot-long staff, with a pointed blade at the end. Yep, it’s a spear! Has all the powers of a spear, too. Like stabbing. 11. Non-Descript Golden Man Award - A gold statue of a blank man, sized to be held in one hand! A sign on the bottom says it’s for… Best Grandma? Unfortunately it’s not even made out of gold, it’s just gold-painted bronze. 63. Snackoos - A sizable vacuum-sealed bag of cylindrical chocolate-covered crisps. Not only are they tasty, but they also make a satisfying "ka-tonk" when thrown. 59. VILE-Brand Pen - A souvenir waterproof pen with the acronym VILE on it. Great for signing checks! 59. VILE-Brand Pen - A souvenir waterproof pen with the acronym VILE on it. Great for signing checks!
CONGRATULATIONS
56. Stuffed Big Daddy - A stuffed toy shaped like… a huge man with a drill for a hand? Don’t worry, he’s soft!
59. VILE-Brand Pen - A souvenir waterproof pen with the acronym VILE on it. Great for signing checks!
54. _____ in Wonderland - A copy of Alice in Wonderland, except Alice’s name has been replaced with yours. That’s the power of public domain, baby.
Peregrine Two: A small tape recorder with a single tape. It's an interview between Brett and a teenage girl, Peregrine. It begins with her recounting the story of spending several days lost in the woods after a snowstorm, before devolving into something more of a personal discussion.
06. Ten-Gallon Hat - A hat perfect for wearing in a western - or on stage singing country music. Yeehaw!
45. “Social Distancing Device” - A six-foot-long staff, with a pointed blade at the end. Yep, it’s a spear! Has all the powers of a spear, too. Like stabbing.
42. “Almond Flavoring” - A tightly-sealed vial of some kind of powder with a skull and crossbones on it and a very direct warning label informing the reader that it’s Literally Just Cyanide.
45. “Social Distancing Device” - A six-foot-long staff, with a pointed blade at the end. Yep, it’s a spear! Has all the powers of a spear, too. Like stabbing.
11. Non-Descript Golden Man Award - A gold statue of a blank man, sized to be held in one hand! A sign on the bottom says it’s for… Best Grandma? Unfortunately it’s not even made out of gold, it’s just gold-painted bronze.
63. Snackoos - A sizable vacuum-sealed bag of cylindrical chocolate-covered crisps. Not only are they tasty, but they also make a satisfying "ka-tonk" when thrown.
59. VILE-Brand Pen - A souvenir waterproof pen with the acronym VILE on it. Great for signing checks!
59. VILE-Brand Pen - A souvenir waterproof pen with the acronym VILE on it. Great for signing checks!